Early, Rare, & Unreleased [1988-1998] Lyrics

 
Mortuary (1988)

Pale bodies
Wracked with fear
Strange noises
In my ears

Locked windows
Desparation
Time rotting
Isn't this fun?

CHORUS
I thought you said this place was safe
But now I'm trapped with no escape
You would stand and laugh at me
If you just knew the thoughts I think

You left me
Black and blue
Then, you left
Shame on you

Tense emotion
Pleas for mercy
Scream loudly
Should not have hurt me

CHORUS

Your eyes are blind
So you can't see
The vow that you
Have left for me

I won't forget
What you have done
One day you'll be 
The fallen one


Anger (1992)

Anger
In my body
In my veins
Shooting through my blood with terrible pain

The clutch it holds
On my convulsing soul
Send my emotions
Spinning out of control.

I feel a need to destroy
To tear apart
I want to hurt you
But I don't know how

The body shakes
The muscles tense
If you know what's good for you
Then you'll leave now

CHORUS
We soar and fly
On that adrenaline high
Fly off the handle
Take an eye for an eye
Without regret
Without remorse
Cut off the problem
Right at its source

Maybe you can't relate
To such primordial hate
But the seed is in your spine
And all it does is wait

Just like everyone else
It waits in this cage
To send you into a fit
Of blinding rage

So when I scream at you
With stinging words
Remember, you're just getting
What you deserve

Because thought before act
Prevents these situations
This incoherent rage
These confrontations

(CHORUS)


Chemical Retraint (1992)


Chemical restraint
Is coming down in endless coils
The caustic liquid in his bloodstream
Keeps him obedient and loyal

Blurry forms and figures of
Faces he once knew
Surround his filthy bed
Unsteady waves keep coming through

The straps that hold his arms down
Exist only in his mind
Ears buzzing madly in the silence
Teardrops flow from blinded eyes

Things have gone to far now
His brain is scrambled like an egg
Kept immobile by a drug that makes him
Squirm and whine and beg

CHORUS
No one cares if they can't see
The drug  that's killing you and me
Apathy makes slaves of us all
Entraps us in its breathing wall

The man who thinks rebellion
Comes in a bottle is a fool
It only makes him more submissive
Makes him conform to all the rules

He brought himself to this dark place
Without much of a choice
And in a single, blinding instant
Robbed himself of his own voice

(CHORUS)

The drug can steal our will
And our ability to care
It can makes us believe in something
That maybe really isn't there

Once the drug is tasted
The craving grows with each new day
Pain will subside only temporarily
And never fully go away

(CHORUS)


Straightjacket (1988)

The walls are closing in
The ceiling's falling down
The air is growing thin
And noise is all around

Too much pressure from above
Too much pushing from behind
Throbbing organs, boiling blood
The gears of mental illness grind

CHORUS
Paranoia rots the brain
Slowly drives a man insane
Worries will remain confined
If there's no exit to your mind
Something in there will explode
Blow a fuse or lose control
If there isn't some way out
Beyond the hate and fear and doubt

Intimidating faces frown
Shout commands and repremands
Six feet underneath the ground
If no one meets with their demands

No one will hear cries for help
Resisting only makes them mad
The faces fade, distort, and melt
You're not the worst they've ever had

CHORUS
What's that noise inside my head?
Who's the voice inside my head?
Who's telling secrets about me
While loading their gun quietly
Shut up and listen to yourself
This can't be too good for your health
You lock yourself up all alone
Shut off the lights and unplug the phone

Paranoia rots the brain
Slowly drives a man insane
Worries will remain confined
If there's no exit to your mind
Something in there will explode
Blow a fuse or lose control
If there isn't some way out
Beyond the hate and fear and doubt

Maybe someone's watching now
Tracking every single move
You're all alone but still somehow
Feel a presence behind you

Always dirty and never clean
The stain that just won't go away
Washing skin until it bleeds
It doesn't have to be this way

(CHORUS)



Soma (1992)


I can feel the sunlight breaking through
And I feel more loved than when I'm with you
A joyous feeling fills the air
And suddenly I'm made aware

Of changing feelings and attitudes
Your silent face and shifting moods
A whirlpool blackout fills my head
The ground's on fire and the sky turns red

Things happen to me that I never thought could
And even pain begins to feel good
My wires are crossed and I start to feel numb
Stuck deep in a game with a zero sum

Dead to the world and desensitized
A view of escape through clouded eyes
I plummet from uncertain heights
And spread my wings so I can fly



The Angels Died (1994)

A life begins, the body thrown out
Confronted by anger, fear and doubt
Toxic fumes rip open lungs
The ladder of life is missing rungs

CHORUS

Sleeping where the angels died

Trees lose leaves, the skin peels free
Bloodstained beaches, rotting teeth
Dripping poison, chemical food
Wires and bodies, blood in the moon

(CHORUS)

Water rising, demonic force
Destroys all within its course
Fire on the brain, rioting and violence
Ends so suddenly in the sound of silence

(CHORUS)
I'm sleeping where the angels died
God's laughing while the angels die



Sometimes I Wish I Was Dead (1988)

Love is supposed to set you free
Well, look at what it's done to me
Don't want to talk, I'm too depressed
So just give your act a little rest

She loves me, she loves me not
Put it together and what have you got
Miserable nights full of confusion
Guess I'll grow used to being disillusioned

CHORUS
If this is the best time in my life
Then I'd hate to see what's ahead
Everything is out of place
Sometimes I wish I was dead

All I wanted was your affection
But instead you put up your protection
What the hell is wrong with you?
Can't you see what you're putting me through?

Stop trying to act naïve
You know exactly what I mean
You know that I'd die for you
And I probably will before we're through

(CHORUS)

Heaven knows I've tried my best
To relieve the weight crushing my chest
I know you'll never change your ways
I guess that's just the price I pay

(CHORUS)


Underneath the Ice (1995)

I can feel the violence
Spill across the floor
My eyes have grown to clouded
To see it anymore

Fading into nothing
Turning into steam
Left in desperation
With nothing to redeem

CHORUS
Underneath the ice I find
A place to rest my weary mind
The cold, deep water numbs my pain
Till I can face myself again

Waiting for redemption
The never seems to come
Hands reach beneath the surface
But I don't know where from

I'm not ready to return yet
I just need a moment more
So I can try to remember
What it is I came here for

(CHORUS)

I can feel the violence
Spill across the floor
My eyes have grown too clouded
To see it anymore

Sinking fast, too dark to see
The buzzing din envelopes me
Too late now, nowhere to go
I'm sinking in the undertow

(CHORUS) 



My Burden (1997)

My burden
My weight to carry alone
Inside me
Down to the very marrow of my bones

My sickness
You can catch it if you get too close
It'll tear you down
Drown us in fire and destroy us both

CHORUS
Unforgiving, unbelieving, impure
Unrelenting, unkind, and unsure

My burden
My decay, my demise
My weakness
My escape, my disguise

My extinction
My destiny, my fate
My destruction
Self-esteem dissolves into self-hate

(CHORUS)
Unforgiving, unbelieving, impure
Unrelenting, unkind, and unsure
So much human rot
But what else have I got?



The Fissure King (1996)

Left alone in the silence
Ascending as I fall
A face indicted silently
By the mirror on the wall

The taste of utter ruin
Still stinging on my tongue
A petulant reminder of
All the wrong I've done

Split down the middle, torn up inside
Thinking the truth, but spouting lies
Preaching hate in the name of love
I'm down below, and you're still above

CHORUS
I am a prisoner of your conscience
I am the famine in the feast
I am the weakness in dominion
I am the beauty in the beast

I'm soaring high and falling fast
An immortality that doesn't last
An inner peace destroyed by rage
Liberation held in a cage

(CHORUS)

Left alone in silence
Ascending as I fall
A face indicted silently
By the mirror on the wall

The taste of utter ruin
Still stinging on my tongue
A petulant reminder of
All the wrong I've done

(CHORUS)



Void (1998)

Emotional vacuum
Big back hole
No sense of reason
No self control

A chasm of purpose
An empty space
Self-serving and shameless
Is the smile on your face

CHORUS
Void

There’s snow in the air
And ice in your heart
Whatever won’t serve you
You tear it apart

(CHORUS)

A life without feeling
An abyss of the soul
Dead to emotion
You’ll never be whole

(CHORUS)